Posts Tagged ‘valentines’

Hey single guys, feeling a bit lonely this Valentines? Well don’t you worry, we have put together a top 10 of the hottest undead totty out there for you to perv over this V-Day. Don’t worry, most of them are super hot zombie warrioresses, I’ve tried to not include too many rotting girlies for fear you’ll all turn into necros. Charming.

10. Trash – Return of the Living Dead
80s cult film punk rock pin up Linnea Quigley does what every self respecting woman-about-to-be-zombie should do; takes her clothes off and dances in a grave yard.

9. Number 9 from Land of the Dead
The only bonafide zombie from the start of the film to the finish (unless she was killed, better watch it again to make sure). Well she was probably a looker back in her alive days but even with half a face she still has a certain je ne sa qua. Here she is in a compare and contrast with her alive self.

8. Ana from Dawn of the Dead 2004
Yeah she’s not drop dead stunner but she does put up a good fight (and a whine, but we’ll overlook that). Here she is all covered in blood and tucked up in bed. Hard day was it? Jeez cry more.

7. Madeleine Short Parker from White Zombie
I just wanted to get in the original, and very first zombie babe Madge Bellamy. She was a 20s sweet heart and hold the position of first zombie on film, and she’s a bit of looker too. I’d have certainly done the Charleston with her in back in the day.

6. Slack from Land of the Dead
We find our female protagonist about to be killed by a zombie for entertainment in a cage fight. She seems to be wearing some sort of fishnet all in one body… thing as well as a tiny skirt and pvc crop top which immediately screams classy lass.

5. Dr Dakota Block from Planet Terror
There’s something about a girl with anesthetic syringes strapped to her thigh isn’t there?

4. Wichita from Zombieland
I’m not massively convinced about this one but I am assure she is now every geeky teen boy’s fantasy. Oh no’s Zombies have invaded, I’d best get me some cute teen girl who will love me cos I’m quirky, nerdy and lame and because I’ll risk my life to save her when she acts ridiculously dumb and plays on fairground rides with her annoying kid sister. Whatever lads. Honestly I’d have shot her for stealing my truck.

3. Alice from Resident Evil
Ok I know, bit of cop out. Milla Jovovich is always going to look hot, no matter what god awful character she plays and despite her ham acting. I also know she isn’t looking quite as cute as when she was all ginger hair and white duck tape but cut the girl some slack;  in this picture she knows how to accessorise.

2. All the girls from Zombie Strippers
So the premise of Zombie Strippers is that when a bunch of strippers get turned into zombies, they get better at stripping. So there is no way that this could ever make a bad film but just in case it could have they cast Jenna Jameson as the lead stripper zombie. Now don’t get me wrong, Jenna is a great gal and all but it’s the whole cast of girls that really make the film. What would it be without hot goth girl Roxy Saint (she did the sound track too btw), cute Nebraskan girl-next-door Jennifer Holland and all the other strippers and feisty army girls (who also seemed to take more clothes off as the film progressed).
If you’re looking for zombies writhing around in front of your eyes all naked and such then you should probably watch the whole of this film. Here is the most obscenely silly part of it (fyi by this time the zombie girls have somewhat decayed).

1. Cherry Darling from Planet Terror

Cherry is the ultimate Zombie Warrioress. Out of all the ladies we’ve seen here she is the one I’d run and hide behind in a zombie invasion (and admire the view while I was back there). In Planet Terror she manages to go from stripper to amputee with gun for a leg and somehow become more attractive along the way. Check it out, I think you’ll agree she gets the number 1 spot:

Here she is will both her legs being a stripper…lovely

Here she is after getting her leg ripped off by crazed gas zombies. Still time to put some lippy on; classy.

And finally here she is after having her leg replaced with a machine gun/ rocket launcher… very useful for killing zombies and bad guys with, especially when you have stripper flexibility.

That’s it. Sorry I haven’t included more zombies in the top 10 but if you want more un-dead girlies head to this site, they really do cover off the zombie locker fodder catagory. Don’t worry I won’t IP track your clicks on the link, you dirty necros.

Check out these sweet as pressies to get for the zom obsessed significant other this V-Day.

Forget choccies, show the zom you love how much you care by giving them your heart… anatomically correct edible gummy form!

Want to give the lady you’d kill for a home made pressie? Check out this brain jelly mold.

We recommend filling it with this pink chocolate truffle recipe or if that requires baking skills you don’t have then go for strawberry jelly with these jelly hearts floating in. Nom nom nom.

More in to the old fashioned romance? Well what could be better than a classic love story… plus Zombies. We’ve all heard of Pride, Prejudice and Zombies, well why not get these postcards with illustrations from the book and write your inner most feelings on the back. We suggest poetry from our last Zombie Poetry post. That’s sure to make your undead love swoon for your brains.

You’re undead boo got a bit of a comic book fetish? Yeah we thought Mavel Zombies was a little weak on concept but still, don’t MJ and Spidey look like a happy couple?

Sorry I do tease, this statue has sold out at Amazon but I’m sure if you really love you’re undead comic nerd fellow you’ll try harder than us to find it!

Want to go all the way this V-Day and pledge the ’till death do us part’ bit, well check out these crazy wedding ideas.

What a happy couple.

And for the cake:

I would totally nom that.

All this marridge stuff seeming a bit much? Want to tone down the commitment? Go for a classic card slipped into their locker or on their breakfast tray with one single (dead) red rose. I like these cards…

Buy them here, here and here.

Really expresses you true feelings eh?

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You suck
- Left 4 Dead

Roses are red
Zombies are blue
According to Dawn of the Dead
And that was just because they were stingy on their make-up budget

Roses are red
Corpses are blue
At the end of this poem,
You’ll end up one too

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m gonna kill you
Doodley-doo
— Gargarensis Age of Mythology