The Oscars have just gone by, and Cannes is on it’s way, we’re feeling a bit glitzy. But with all these reports of what the young-uns are up to today (Shai with his booze cruising and Bella with her bongs) it makes us want to hark back to the good ol’ days, when film stars knew how to behave. I wish we could bring back the crooners, the classic Hollywoods and old school Lotharios. Oh but we can; as zombies! Here are our top 5 film stars we want to re-animate and why.
Who doesn’t want the goddess of the silver screen re-animated? Just imagine it; she staggers towards you, giving you a blood thirsty look, not too unlike her sexy come to bed eyes, just with a bit more blood pouring out of their sockets. However she’s failed to notice her one weakness…a floor vent! As the bedraggled white dress, stained red with her victims blood, whoosh up covering her top half, you see her zombie hands confusedly struggle to contain the phantom cloth. Just for re-creating that scene she deserves to be undead. That, and also the fact that The Misfits (THE zombie band) based their name on her last film. Boop-boop-a-nom-nom-nom!
If we include ol’ Daddy Long Legs then I think we have to allow for the 28 days/ Land of the Dead style zombies; fast moving with at least some memory retention. Imagine him doing a smart little tap dance over to you then grabbing your hand and leading you in a waltz whilst subtly trying to nom your neck. Just picture him dragging an umbrella behind him as he tries to swing round a lamp post but fails as his arm tears off from it being too decomposed and is left behind still clinging on as he falls flat into a puddle. Basically dancing zombies = awesome.
Ok so I know he may not be completely confirmed as being dead but I do sure miss this classic Lothario. Maybe all this time while he’s been missing on his yacht he sumbled across a strange island with trancelike groaning inhabitants who seem to be cold to the touch… how many zombie films start like that I wonder! Maybe he could be on his way back to reclaim his title as the legend of Cannes a bit like in Zombi 2 when the yacht gets back to shore in the US with a zombie onboard. And what sort of zombie would be on board? Why an old school gentleman zombie of course. Jacque D’Zombie would be the sort who bought you dinner before eating your brains, held the door open for you to run through and he’d never take liberties such as noming you when your back is turned. As well as being a true un-dead gent we’d love to see a zombie trying to play tennis. Just imagine, he throws the ball up in the air to serve, forgets to swing and the ball lands splat straight into his hollowed out eye socket. Best potential zombie gore moment ever! Lastly he’d obviously be a prolific zombie because, just like when he went grey, he’d turn being un-dead into the latest fashion craze to hit the french riviera. The only problem is that as Jacques didn’t really age in life, would he in death? Would Jacques D’Zombie actually look like a zombie or just a regular guy, but a bit cold and groany. Who knows, but we’d like to see!
Peter Lorre/Vincent Price
These guys naturally come as a pair so why count them separately? They’re on the list for the same reasons; truly creepy horror acting that could transpose directly to real life zombie horror and they both have amazing eyes that, if coupled with the zombie red eye thing of 28 Days or even the white eye thing of Evil Dead, would scare the chainsaw right out of your hands. Vincent’s eyes pierce through to your soul with cold calculating precision, while Peter’s have a puppy dog feel to them that would just look so cool all zombied up. However, the biggest reason for these two to be granted re-animation rights is their voices. Picture zombie Peter Lorre limping after to you groaning out ‘Braaaaaaaaaains’ in that mad scientist voice of his. It would be the best! As for the zombie paring, they’d never part each others side. With Peter Lorre all short, fat and crazy looking and Vincent Price standing tall next to him giving sinister it’s rightful definition; they’d make a great team!
Elvis back from the dead in any sense is a good thing, but a zombie Elvis is something else all together. All dressed up in a sequined cat suit, covered in blood, skin peeling from his face but quiff still magically intact. We’d swear on Graceland that it would be a mouth dropping visual treat. Other Zomvis details (see what we did there) would have to include:
- Vegas style sunglasses all broken up
- Guitar neck sticking out of body somewhere
- One blue suade shoe, very trampled on
- Ability to make dogs bark at him, all the time
- Mutters catch phrase “uh huh huh”, probably mid guts meal, nom nom nom
- Frantic hip thrusting that leads to his leg bone coming clean out of his pelvis and through his skin
We’d also like it if Elvis could come back as young Elvis, relatively fresh looking, and then go through a similar ageing process to his pre death counterpart; slowly his stomach would bloat and bulge, he’d become more saggy, and the costume just wouldn’t quite fit and eventually he would explode having eaten way too many brains.
Who would you like to see reborn undead and looking awesome? Did we miss out a key player, or feature for our listed ghouls? Chip in with your ideas below!
You read right…Victorian..Undead! IT’S A COMIC BOOK…WITH ZOMBIES…IN VICTORIAN LONDON. Now I love zombies, and I love scummy victorian London. This is like a dream come true.
The comic starts with an intergalactic astroid thing hurtling its way through space toward earth. It’s all green and ominous looking. We jump down to London, where everyone going crazy over it. Some people are all “This is a good thing” while this one old bat is like “This is EVIL!” Her dialougue is way cheesy but it works to give across that Whitechapel slummy feel we all know and love.
We are then whisked across to a doctor’s lab where 2 people are studying a recently deceased corpse. They come to the conclusion she is dead…little did they know…she only freaking gets up and munches on them.
From there we fly across town to meet our heroes of the story, Holmes and Watson. I really liked the sort of character the writer went with here, choosing something akin to Tony Stark. It really sits well in the cheese fest that is Victorian Undead. I won’t write too much more incase you want to find out for yourself, but I will tell you, there are spies, there are gadgets, there are one liners…and most importantly there are zombies!
4 undead bear wounds out of 5
Right, so we’re all in this building. Zombies surronding it entirely. The Sayid looking guy turns to me and tells me to grab the sniper and clear a path to the bunker. I run over to the sniper rifle, and head towards the window. Suddenly we hear a door burst open downstairs and zombies start flooding in, heading towards the stairs. Sayid shouts at me to take them out with the AK47. So I head over to the stairs and mow them down. Once they were dealt with I headed back to the window…I take aim…BANG…But the sound wasn’t my gun…it came from downstairs. MORE zombies have have burst in, so i have to go deal with them again. This happens about 5 times, before we decide to just leave the house and risk it. For some reason, the house has a fire escape style stairwell like you’d find in an office block or something, complete with fire escape doors at the bottom. We burst out of them into an alley.
The alley is grotty and grimey. It felt New Yorky, with torn posters for gigs, and dumpsters and rubbish on the floors. We hid behind a stack of oil barrels at the mouth of the alley. We survey the area and see a clear line for us to run through to the bunker. Sayid makes a break for it and makes it. He is safe. No zombies noticed, it was all good. So next the girl charges across the field and safely arrives at the bunker without alerting the hoarde. It comes to my turn. I start running at the bunker, but as I get closer, my legs start to ache, and I can really feel this ache. It was a pain sort of inbetween muscle ache and legs having fallen asleep. It was horrible and it slows me down big time. As I approach the bunker, sort of a wall of zombies form around the entrance. I can’t get through so I double back. I sense that zombies are following me, hot in pursuit. I get very scared…I hate being chased As I get closer to the alley, my legs start to feel better again and by the time I am at the alley I am feeling fine. Also, the path to the bunker is clear, and the chasing zombies have stopped chasing. I try again. EXACTLY THE SAME THING HAPPENS. And that’s it, for the rest of the dream I am running back and forth between the alley and the bunker, and each time I can feel this pain in my legs, it was horrible, and each time, zombies gather around the entrance, and each time I am chased by zombies, and each time I get back to the alley and all is fine again…HORRIBLE!
I do absolutly love the Hitler parodys…and it’s always nice when they use different clips other then the classic one. Here is one such example. Hitler is told he is a zombie…
This band ROCK. Think Cancer Bats, The Hives, Everytime I Die, and pure awesomness! Epic super riffs, and ofcourse, A ZOMBIE MUSIC VID. This one is pretty darn good, shame the zombies run though…
I thought I’d write about the most terrifying horrible nightmare I ever did have. It was about zombies, and usually that means AWESOME, but thos one was not. It was horrible. For one, the world was not nicely graded…the colours were all browns and dark greens and greys. Usually in zombie dreams, my mind grades the dream to be more in line with Planet Terror, or Return Of The Living Dead, both of which are colourful and exciting. This world was drab. It felt like I was in a war movie, a sad war movie.
So the narrative started in this house. There were 3 of us. Me looking like I look, a guy who looked like Sayid from lost or Abby from Planet Terror (I choose to make reference to Sayid first over Abby because he acts more like Sayid, sensible, survival focused etc,) and a non descript girl…I can only remember she had blonde hair. She played no real part in the rest of the dream. We were on the top level discussing how to get from the house to this safety bunker (it was already known in my mind that this bunker was the place to be, and I would never have to worry about zombies ever again.) Unfortunatly there was a square between us and the bunker, not a huge one, but big enough. It had a post apoc style broken playground to the right and this statue fountain thing to the left. The statue was overgrown with weeds that creeped up and round the neck of the sculpture, chocking away at the now lost culture that forged the monument. Clearly this world had been under the shroud of zombie domination for quite some time. The buildings around us also suggested this was more of a war/zombie scenario than a straight out zombie apoc. There buildings with chunks of walls missing, much like you would see in war films, complete with fires, rubble and the such. Taking in the horrifying scenary was, I am strangly sadened to say, not what had my attention. It was the hoard of zombies sprawled out across the square . Right between us and the bunker. It wasn’t like Dawn Of The Dead style loads and loads milling around the car park, but a guess would say there were at least enough to fill Brixton Academy. They were kind of spread evenly throughout the open space, making it impossible to plan a good route to the bunker. This stressed me out big time for some reason. The frustration of there being literally no clear path of progression whatsoever, and I think this may have been the theme of the dream…
The scene has been set…I don’t to ‘wall of text’ anyone, so I’ll write the next part later today.
Still being way lazy, I’ll write something for reals soon. But for now MORE HARDCORE PUNK(zombie style) and I have a feeling there will be a few videos by these guys up on this here blog. It’s Send More Paramedics with their awesome awesome song “Zombie Crew”. I’m pretty sure CraigOfTheDead is somewhere in this video.
and for anyone who doesn’t know where the name comes from…shame on you! Return Of The Dead! Freaking awesome 80’s zombie film.
Now I love Left 4 Dead, and I love Shaun Of The Dead…
This is a seriously amazing idea and I can really see the L4D mechanics working a treat as you try to get to the Winchester. They have clearly put some thought into how they can actually intergrate the Shaun story into the gameplay style of L4D, and yeah, I never noticed how similar the two were. Add in some custom sound packs and skins, and we have ourselves a genius mod. The map screenshots look really great, and I can’t wait for some more progress to made on this. Worthy of me keeping my eye on , thats for sure.
Props goes to @alwaldock for finding this!
Really needs no introduction. The Misfits with their classic “Scream.” The music video was directed by George A Romero as part of a deal the band struct with him. They agreed to write two songs and appear in the film “Bruiser” during the film’s final murder scene, in return for Romero’s directing experise.
Amazing video. Better than Diary Of The Dead thats for sure…